According to Plan

It's a beautiful day It's a rather nice day A day for a glorious wedding A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear A rehearsal for a glorious wedding Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know That nothing unexpected interferes with the show And that's why everything, every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go According to plan Our son will be married According to plan Our family carried We'll go right into to the heights of society To the costume balls In the hallowed halls Rubbing elbows with the finest Having crumpets with her highness We'll be there, we'll be seen, having tea with the queen We'll forget everything... that we've ever ever been It's a terrible day Now don't be that way It's a terrible day for a wedding It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in That has led to this ominous wedding How could our family have come to this? To marry off our daughter to the noveaux-rich They're so common So coarse Oh, it couldn't be worse! It couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree It could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy Without a penny to their name... just like you... and me Oh, dear And that's why everything, every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go According to plan Our daughter will wed According to plan Our family lead From the depths of deepest poverty To the noble realm Of our ancestors And who'd have guessed in a million years that our daughter, with the face Of an otter in disgrace Would provide our ticket to our rightful place? What if Victor and I don't... like each other? Do you suppose your father and I like each other? Surely you must... a little Of course not! Get those corsets laced properly... I can hear you speak without gasping Marriage is a partnership. A little tit-for-tat You'd think a lifetime watching us Might have taught her that Might have taught her that Everything must be perfect Everything must be perfect Everything must be perfect, perfect That's why everything, every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go... According to plan!