12 Days of Christmas

Somebody done been to the wal*mart Man this is the stuff I got for christmas You cleaned up, what you get? Five flanel shirts Four big mud tires Three shot gun shells Two huntin' dogs And some parts to a Mustange G.T You fool! You got jipped! thar's twelve days of Christmas! I know that look over there in the corner Thats yours too? Yeah Twelve pack a bud Elevin wrastlin' tickets Ten acopenhagen Nine years probation Eight table dancers Seven packs of redman Six cans of spam Five flanel shirts Four big mud tires Three shot gun shells Two huntin' dogs And some parts to a Mustange G.T Man these aint normal Christmas presents! Naw they redneck gifts Redneck gifts? Yeah, like when you buy your wife earrings that double as fishen luers, or if you can burp the entire chorus of jingle bells, or if you think the nutcracker is something you did off the high dive, or if you've ever miss spelled anything in christmas lights, or if you leave cold beer and pickeled eggs for santa clause. Whats wrong with that? I didnt say anything was wrong with it, its hard to beat Twelve pack a bud Elevin wrastlin' tickets Ten acopenhagen Nine years probation Eight table dancers Seven packs of redman Six cans of spam Five flanel shirts Four big mud tires Three shot gun shells Two huntin' dogs And some parts to a Mustange G.T Well you know you cant consider it a Christmas unless you go down to the penitenturary and visit your momma. You're not listenin' to me get the car key out of your ear, that where the nine years probation comes in. im a do it for you again, now listen Twelve pack a bud Elevin wrastlin' tickets Ten acopenhagen Nine years probation Eight table dancers Seven packs of redman Six cans of spam Five flanel shirts Four big mud tires Three shot gun shells Two huntin' dogs And some parts to a Mustange G.T Are you cryin'? Naw just my allergies Happy Holidays everybody